Friday, February 29, 2008

Surrender and Seek

Hi God

I am coming before you tonight surrendering this "relationship" to your will... I don't even know if I should call it that. Ha! But still... I want to be in total surrender. I know that nothing I can conjure up or create is going to be satisfying. If this is not your will then I know you have something better. If you have brought us together for such a time as this I pray that you will use us to sharpen each other and not to idly get through the days just being pals. Lord I want to be used by you as a tool even in my husbands life... whoever that may be. Use me Lord. If this man is not my future husband... you can still use me... please just help me to guard my heart and not give too much of it away. I think it is amazing how you made man and woman so different and yet with a plan for them to be united. I have learned so much from this man already. Thank you for his friendship. I have truly enjoyed the laughter and joy he has brought to my life. I pray that we will continue to grow in our faith through this time. That we would challenge each other in new ways and uphold the truths and promises you have called us to. Help me to be humble Lord and learn to submit to my authorities. Forgive me for the many times I have walked on the toes of my authorities. Please heal the things from my past that are getting in the way of submission. I am a new creature, created in Christ to do good works which He prepared in advance for me. Thanks for that reminder Lord.
I don't have a scripture that I was reading. Just spending time with the Lord in worship and prayer tonight. He is faithful to meet me... "when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you." Jeremiah 29:something?
I love finding you Lord! I pray that will be a desire of my heart everyday. Love you!

Your Child

Friday, February 08, 2008


I am going through the read the bible in a year guideline that is in a SOAP journal I picked up a few years ago. Though I have already missed the first week... I am still starting with the scripture outlined for today. Todays reading is Genesis 20,21,22 (morning) and Matthew 7 (night). Though I don't do them at separate times. Ha! Thats like only eating once a day. hmm... but eating ALOT non the less. :)

The S-Scripture that really stood out to me today is Genesis 22: 7&8
Issac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?"
"Yes, my son?" Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here,"Isaac said,"but where is the Lamb for the burnt offering?"
Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

I read this passage again and am struck by the thoughts that could have been going through the son's head. He obviously knows something is up with the situation if he is asking his dad questions. Is he getting nervous? Is he thinking his dad would sacrifice him? And then when he asks his dad where the lamb is... his dad assures him that God will provide. Is Isaac no longer worried? Does he trust this news as hope for continued life? Was he really ever worried in the first place?

It takes me back to the relationships between some fathers and their young sons. If Isaac were just a kid, about ten years old... I can see him wanting to help his dad carry the firewood and being so proud that he was on this adventure with his dad. I imagine him asking innocently about the offering and then trusting his dads word without further explanation. If dad says God will provide then God will provide.

In my life I see myself asking questions of my Heavenly Father. Where will I go to school? When will I get to be a medical missionary? Will I get to meet the man you have for my life any time soon? I wish I could be like Isaac and just be proud to be on this adventure with my Father. To be satisfied with the journey rather than knowing the answers to everything that lies ahead. One of God's names is Jehovah Jireh - meaning - God our Provider. He will provide! It is His name!

Lord. Thanks for walking with me through life. I can't imagine life without your guidance. It blows my mind thinking about where I would be without you. Lord, I just pray that you would help me to treasure the journey with you more than longing for all the answers to my life questions. Help me to see each day with you as a treasure. And to trust you like Isaac with his father. Trusting your provision, because it is who you are, without further explanation. I have seen you provide in many ways in my life. You have brought finances when needed, you have brought physical healing, you have provided places for me to live... there are so many ways you have provided all my life. I don't need to know all the answers. Help me to find joy in trusting you more. Help me to trust you more with my family and my future. I am excited for this adventure! I want to have a child like faith with you my perfect Father.

This verse just popped into my head:
Proverb 3:5&6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."

Lord, remind me to acknowledge you in all my ways, in every area of my life. You are my provider, you have gone before me. I breathe a sigh of relief knowing I have the best guide, the best companion, on this journey through life. I am a little girl trusting her Daddy to show her the way.