Monday, May 18, 2009

Who is my provider?

I don't have the security of parents to come to my rescue when I need help financially. Though they would like to help me (that hasn't always been the case for my dad but God has done some awesome work in his life) they just don't have the means to do it.

After having surgery nine weeks ago... it has been different than I anticipated. Medications made it impossible for me to make it through the quarter of pre-reqs for nursing. I was so frustrated with myself and felt like I had failed God. Afterall He had done such a miracle in getting me surgery so quickly and with a quicker estimated recovery time. All I had to do was get back in the game and get my school on. After not being able to focus and study and doing horribly in classes I realized that it was not just me but my body was still recovering. So I surrendered to the rest my body so needed.

A few long weeks later I start feeling a bit semi normal and started looking for jobs. I don't know how many I have applied for, submitted resumes for, or interviewed for so far. It has been a LOT!

I was just thinking about how I haven't had a job since August and have been living off of my student loans. Nine weeks after surgery I have had two garage sales, five house/animal sitting jobs, one recurring babysitting job, and one cleaning job. I did not seek out any of these jobs. These people contacted me. Did they know I had a need. Not all of them. Some of these jobs were set in my calender a couple months ago... most were scheduled a day or two in advance.

I am in awe looking at these provisions right now. Though there are unanticipated medical bills in my inbox... I do not doubt my Jehovah Jirah's ability to meet my needs. As I was sitting outside in the sunshine at one of my garage sales yesterday a tiny hummingbird flew within a few feet of me. It stopped to suckle on a nearby plant. At that moment I heard God whisper to me. See Jami... I take care of these precious birds and you are even more precious to me. Peace reigns in my heart because I know that even though the bills are here I know that God is going to provide for my every need.

Another way God has provided... He brought my best friend home for five weeks. She is here without her husband (miss you Camalama! but I am so excited to be spending time with your wifey!) so I get to see her more than usual. God is so good. He pours out blessings on His kids!

I know that God must be providing in awesome ways for others. It is who He is. He is Jahovah Jirah our Provider. That is His name! If you are facing a time of hardship I hope you will remember that God is the One who can meet your every need. Not your every want... but your needs. He knows our every need and remember he takes care of the birds of the air and the flowers of the fields as well and we are so much more precious to Him than those.

Matthew 6:25-33
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

I hope you will be encouraged and reminded of the awesomeness of our Heavenly Father. He is SO GOOD! Blessings to you and your loved ones. May the Lord meet your every need in His perfect timing!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'

This Mother's Day weekend I got in a car with my mom and drove the five hours from Seattle to Spokane so my mom could see her grandbabies for the weekend. I was apprehensive for several reasons. But God has been showing me more and more that I need to love more selflessly... especially with my family. So I was pleasantly surprised when this weekend was filled with so many wonderful moments.

Here are a few of my favourites...

After dinner on Friday night we walked to the park down the street from my sisters new place. My nieces bring out a silly side of me. I soon found myself running through the field being chased and chasing my little nieces around. The hillside was calling me to come and play so I gave in and found my inner kid again. As I rolled down the hillside it was impossible to stop laughing. Oh the sweet simple joy of rolling down a hill. I can't believe that it has been more than a decade since I had that sweet joy! I even got my mom to roll down the hill! It was so wonderful I had to repeat it again and again until one of the little ones declared she had to go potty and we had to leave the park. Goal. Must roll down hills at least once a year... preferably once a month.

On Saturday night my sis decided it was movie night and picked out Mamma Mia (I didn't think it was appropriate for kids but her mind would not be changed). I loved this movie when I saw it in theaters and was so excited to have a repeat experience. It was better than before. The kids only stayed up for the first 30-45 minutes of it. As the music came on it was impossible to stay in our seats. I found all the girls spoons, whisks, and ladles to be their microphones for the evening. We sang and danced our hearts out. Mamma Mia will forever be a super special memory.

Sunday morning I was awoken to the sweet sounds of a three year old giggling with her grandmother. She woke up bright eyed and full of love and had to go tell her grandma first thing that she loved her. She calls my mom Grandma Sunshine because while my sis had left her family two years ago my mom stayed with the girls for six months to help out. My mom would sing "You are my Sunshine" to Mea every day multiple times a day. Mea now sings the whole song to my mom and has such sweet pure love for her. I was sleeping downstairs and heard Mea say again and again... I love you Gramma. It was in between her giggles that she interjected her love for her grandma. I wish every morning started with such love and laughter. So beautiful.

So I am so glad I went to Spokane with my mom for the weekend. It was so special. We had some great conversations in the car and so many sweet moments with my adorable nieces. What a glorious Mothers Day weekend indeed. I hope everyone else was able to have some sweet moments too.