Do you ever feel like you are living someone else's life? Like you are going to wake up in the morning and your reality will seem a bit easier than it has in the past?
Last week was a great week... I had a Valentines party at my house with some girl friends and celebrated the day with fun and fellowship. We played MASH and had treats and I even gave a special gift to a couple friends... A grown your own boyfriend! It grows 600% in 72 hours! It started at about three inches and isn't growing as it promised. Oh well. Life goes on. Later in the week I got to catch up with old friends from Lighthouse who are now busy with married life, and now babies and our lives just aren't as entertwined as they used to be so it was really fun to get to see them again. Our talks used to be alot more about boys and other silly things. I have never talked so much about babies in my life! This is definately a different part of our friendships.
This weekend was filled with more fun as I fellowshipped with a new friend who is a bosom friend. I definately see Gods hand in bringer her to P-town. She has been a blessing in my life. :) It was great to spend the weekend with her. Sunday night at prayer God showed up (like usual) and was very much talking to us. It is so exciting each week to come together and see how God is going to move in our lives. It is a joy to see people hungry to hear from the Lord and patiently waiting on Him to speak. God's presence was so thick in the room that I could breathe it in. What a precious gift to be a part of that.
Oh. Last week my sis called me and told me that she is going to pay for me to go with her to England! I am so excited!
Today I found out some perplexing news. My sis is getting divorced. She hasn't told anyone else in the fam and doesn't want me to say anything. uugh! Yet again I am asked to stay silent when I don't agree with something that is happening. Whats worse is that she met someone online from Wales who we are going to see while we are there in March. And they love eachother!?!!? And they both are in other relationships right now?!!?! UUGH! I feel sick inside! I feel like she tricked me! I am so frustrated and don't know what I should do.
I do believe from the moment that she told me that I was going with her that God had something up His sleeve and wants to do something in both our lives during this trip. I am just at a loss. I am excited to see what God is going to do.
At the same time I am praying for the right job to become available. I am applying a several locations to try and get a job in one months time. I am stressing out even though I know God is going to provide! He takes care of the lilies and the birds and He cares so much about me. Why do I get so stressed out?! My stomach is turning. God please help me. Quiet my heart and let me find some kind of understanding which is not my own. Bring me peace and wisdom to know what your will is in these situations. Erase my tension and help me to give this all to you. I am not able to carry any burden on my own strength. Lord have your way. Have YOUR way! Show me YOUR way! I want to be obediant and faithful to what you are calling me to do LORD! Solidify your will in my life. Confirm my next steps as I step out into the scary unknown. Teach me to trust beyond my own understanding. Help me to rest in who you are.
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