Monday, March 06, 2006

a good cry

Do you ever feel like just crying for a day? I do. I am exhausted with life right now and I think a good cry would make me feel better. My mom actually told me this weekend that she thinks I need to cry. I cried last week and little this weekend and then some more today. Can I just have a big deep cry and get it all over with. Doesn't it feel better once you cry?
My mom now lives in Spokane. I followed her as far to the freeway as I could and waved good bye as she left this side of the state and stared a new chapter in her life. And a new chapter in my life too. I cried with my brother when we talked about mom moving and we got mad at dad for being a jerk and abandoning the situation. He is really good at that... abandoning.
No use playing that record again... it is surely broken.
My job is what is really my current stress. It seems that my job is trying to out me. And not giving me severance. I am emotionally drained right now and some time soon get to have a conversation with someone that makes me cringe just hearing her name. I know she is going to try to stomp on me the moment I open my mouth but I just have to think about David and Galioth. Even though she is a small lady she thinks she is Galioth. Enough about her. God is able to do more than I can hope or imagine. I am praying for a miracle here and for courage beyond what I currently possess. I am tired. I can't wait for it all to be over.
God help me please. I need your strength and courage. Help me to see that you have a plan and that you are not one that abandons. You hold me under the shadow of your wing. Thank you God for the amazing diety that you are. So awesome and yet so personal.

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