hope... it's part of love

So at the beginning of February I went to a womens conference with my church. I had the joy of being a part of worship and ushering in the women of the conference to the presence of the Lord. It was more like God took us each by the hand and gently pursued each us to the throne room. God was very "alive" in the conference. The ladies of our church had not experienced a conference like this before. There were people speaking in tongues, people were being prophecyed over. It was a spiritual awakening for so many. I was so excited to see the great majority of the women taking hold of God's hand and being changed, renewed, transformed, surrendered. It was a powerful weekend to say the least.
The conference was important in my life too. I went to the conference after being offered a free ride with the condition of being a part of the worship team. In no way did I feel like I was in a place to be helping lead a group of women into worship. My walk with the Lord was in the slumps. I had become discouraged about many things in my life. Unsure of the call on my life, practically thrown in the towel about the state of my family, and fretting about the desires in my heart.
On one of the nights God spoke to me loud and clear about Hope. He reminded me that Hope is part of Love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
There it was. Love always hopes. I was not hoping. I had thrown in the towel on my family. Given up on the power of the Lord. I felt like there were too many things that needed restoration and there was no way all or any of those things could change. I was hopeless. A sad state. How can God use a hopeless person? What good is a hopeless person? Can a hopeless person pray for others?
God called me to HOPE in that weekend. Reminding me to love my family like that, to love my friends like that, to love myself like that, because that is the way He loves and I am called to love like that.
So I asked Him to restore a spirit of hope in my life. I began praying for my family again. The state of each of my family members overwhelmed my heart but it was not too big for the heart of God. I began proclaiming hope over the lives of my friends. God showed me that His call of hoping for my friends was ever so important. God renewed my hope in the future He has for me. Refreshing my spirit. Bringing peace to my heart.
Two weeks after the conference had passed a week of jaw dropping happenings occurred.
My family has been going through major struggles for the great majority of my life. As a child and into my teen years my dad was abusive physically, verbally, and emotionally. My dad never recognized his disciplinary actions as abuse. He was sure that a strong hand, or fist, or foot, or word, was an acceptable means of discipline. I had forgiven him many times as a kid and when I did YWAM (youth with a mission) in 2001 God opened my eyes to true forgiveness and gave me the ability to see my dad in the the same way that He sees my dad. Now I can look at my dad and not see the pain of the past and have bitterness in my heart, now I can truly love him.
So first thing to happen that week. My dad called me (which doesn't happen all that often) and he told me he is taking a class at his church. He told me that he needed to call and ask for my forgiveness. He listed one by one the things that he wanted forgiveness for. I told him that I had forgiven him years ago. He was quick to say that he knew that, however, he HAD to ask me for forgiveness himself.
Wow! God of hope indeed! I don't think I had been more shocked out of my mind then on that day. And ecstatic! God was renewing my spirit of hope.
Another great thing to happen that week... my sister was living in Montana, having left her four daughters and husband to a man she met on the Internet. She had given up everything for this relationship. Lost all rights as a parent. Her oldest daughter whose father was different than the three other girls was taken away from the dad and sisters she had grown up with for the past 10 years because of her choice to leave her family. The week of hope renewed I got another call. My sister was moving back to the city where her girls and ex-husband lived. She had found a job and would be moving within two blocks of the girls in less than a months time. Hope renewed yet again!
I don't know why I found all this so surprising. It was blowing my mind what the Lord was doing!
That week I also learned of great things in the lives of one of my brothers and my mom. My brother flat out told me that he recognized the mistake of the relationship that he was in. My mom confessed that she was taking a codependency class. Victory! She has been struggling with that for the great majority of her life and has let many people walk all over her and take advantage of her(myself included). Wow! God of hope is transforming my family!
I was reminded this morning that even though my family may still be struggling and making poor choices again... I am still called to love them with that spirit of hope. Love transforms. Hope transforms. God transforms.
Don't give of hope. Keep hoping for your loved ones and yourself.